There was a man who had a vision to become the best in the field of architecture but he had a rough childhood as he was a quiet child in his class, an average student and later dropped the university he went into. He was bullied by his friends for his looks and family for his future. And he never shared the idea he always had in his head and he was working upon because he was so afraid of this one rejection and lack of confidence as to what his parents and peers would say about him, and because that dream was everything he had evolved with him since he was a child, it was so big to him. And with no help and no guidance he started off his journey. And with utmost hardwork and resilience, he became good at it and the best in the field, but really never felt the feeling of joy and happiness throughout his life. With this story you can relate happiness and success but is it true that happiness comes after success? The answer to this is certainly not, there are moments when we feel thrilled and we are still in the process of our mission that is also happiness. Results only give a stamp to make you happy and thrilled according to the society.
Now one thing that most of us must have experienced is whether we are passionate about our work or not so passionate; we tend to fall apart at times. We just do not feel it right in our stomach or maybe we overdo it so much that it feels like a burden to us. It feels like we are being forced to do things where we are not willing to work, and when you get this feeling the paycheck doesn’t bother you. You just want to change or at least disappear from your current life for a while. Isn’t it? Now this indicates in order to change; it is necessary to be unhappy. Isn’t it? When you get bored of the work you usually love to do, what exactly has changed that a certain amount of disorientation of feelings is mixed and arises?
During a research experiment a marine biologist placed a shark into a large holding tank and then released several small bait fish into the tank.
As you would expect, the shark quickly swam around the tank, attacked and ate the smaller fish.
The marine biologist then inserted a strong piece of clear fiberglass into the tank, creating two separate partitions. She then put the shark on one side of the fiberglass and a new set of bait fish on the other.
Again, the shark quickly attacked. This time, however, the shark slammed into the fiberglass divider and bounced off. Undeterred, the shark kept repeating this behavior every few minutes to no avail. Meanwhile, the bait fish swam around unharmed in the second partition. Eventually, about an hour into the experiment, the shark gave up.
This experiment was repeated several dozen times over the next few weeks. Each time, the shark got less aggressive and made fewer attempts to attack the bait fish, until eventually the shark got tired of hitting the fiberglass divider and simply stopped attacking altogether. The marine biologist then removed the fiberglass divider, but the shark didn’t attack. The shark was trained to believe a barrier existed between it and the bait fish, so the bait fish swam wherever they wished, free from harm.
Many of us, after experiencing setbacks and failures, emotionally give up and stop trying. Like the shark in the story, we believe that because we were unsuccessful in the past, we will always be unsuccessful and unhappy. In other words, we continue to see a barrier in our heads, even when no ‘real’ barrier exists between where we are and where we want to go. We stop because we compensate for our happiness and make ourselves believe the hardship of it.
You Know Yet You Pretend To Be Unhappy
Bruce DiMarsico, the creator of the Option method, posited a simple but powerful theory about why people experience unhappiness in any form and the answer he gives here is very interesting and accurate as he says because “we think we should be”. And I find this being very effective and very accurate in each individual's life.
Think of the last time you really felt angry over someone or some issue, what do you think the problem was?
Was it the fault amongst you two or the situation you went through?
What was the real reason you felt unhappy or angry about?
The reason being anything why you ended up being in the position, the real reason behind your anger or unpleasantness was very simple and that is because you felt being happy or smiling was not the right decision to be made. Being a bit cruel, angry and even worried suits you at that particular time. We only get angry with ourselves over others, I want you to think it through. Don’t you only get angry because you were unable to teach someone something or make someone do something which you wanted them to do. You were not angry, they didn’t do what you told them to, you got angry because they did not listen to you and perform what you told them to do.